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How to Get Your Partner to Test for Sexually Transmitted Infections

Published 2024-01-08 04:05 by Nordictest
How to Get Your Partner to Test for Sexually Transmitted Infections

How to Get Your Partner to Test for Sexually Transmitted Infections

You may have various reasons for wanting your partner to get tested for a sexually transmitted infection. Perhaps you have tested positive yourself and now you want to ensure that your partner finds out if he or she has been infected. However, it's not always easy to order a chlamydia test and give it to a partner. There are some challenges that you are probably aware of.

Let's take a look at why it can be difficult to get a partner to test for gonorrhea, syphilis, or chlamydia and how to handle this situation effectively.

Stigma and the Feeling of Shame

Even though we know so much more about sexually transmitted infections today, it is still a topic that is difficult to discuss. There is a social stigma associated with contracting a sexually transmitted infection. You may even feel that it's too embarrassing to talk about, even though you know you must when it involves a contagious disease.

In fact, experts who discuss how to have difficult conversations rarely mention this type of dialogue. But it can indeed be challenging to tell a partner that he or she needs to take a sexually transmitted infection test.

Some points to consider:

  • Have the conversation in a way you feel comfortable with, whether it's through WhatsApp or over the phone. For some, a straightforward message explaining the situation might be the best approach.
  • Make sure not to bring up the issue when others are nearby and can overhear. It can become really awkward and uncomfortable in such situations.
  • Stay calm if you decide to discuss your own test. If you remain calm, there's a good chance your partner won't get too worked up.


Your Partner Denies the Risk

It's quite common for someone who learns of the risk of having contracted a sexually transmitted infection to deny it, especially if they have no symptoms. Additionally, there may be a fear of receiving a positive result.

In this situation, it may be wise to explain that avoiding the test and not knowing about the infection can be more dangerous. It can become more challenging later on, not to mention that it's easier to treat a sexually transmitted infection in its early stages. Also, emphasize that other infections can be more easily transmitted if you have an untreated sexually transmitted infection.

Your Partner Claims No Symptoms Mean No Sexually Transmitted Infection

When you ask your partner to get tested for a sexually transmitted infection, you may receive the response that it's unnecessary because he or she has no symptoms. While it may sound logical, you should remind them that it is indeed possible to carry an infection without symptoms.

Explain that an untreated sexually transmitted infection, even in the absence of symptoms, can become problematic later on. Moreover, you wouldn't want to risk getting re-infected after undergoing treatment and becoming free from the infection.

Suspicions of Infidelity

Another challenge in asking a partner to get tested for a sexually transmitted infection is that it may suggest that someone has been unfaithful. You could be insinuating that your partner has been unfaithful or implying that you have been.

This can lead to conflicts and may even result in the end of the relationship. However, remember the possibility of carrying an infection without symptoms. Either one of you could have been carrying the infection without knowing. Additionally, infections like herpes can be transmitted from the mouth to the genitals, and it may not necessarily involve infidelity.

Considering a herpes test may not be necessary if your partner has no symptoms. But keep in mind that suspicions of infidelity may arise, and it's good to mention the existence of latent viruses to avoid this type of conflict.


Testing Can Seem Challenging to Handle

There may also be practical barriers, such as the proximity of a youth clinic or healthcare center and whether there is even time for such visits. The easiest solution may be to address this with a home test that your partner can use discreetly and conveniently.

When you order a test for yourself, you can also consider getting one for your partner. Perhaps you can even test together. This should not be difficult to arrange if you have an open conversation about it.

Fear of Others Finding Out

Getting home tests for sexually transmitted infections is a smart choice, especially considering the fear of others finding out. Your partner may feel that going to a healthcare center for testing would be too conspicuous.

You can assure your partner that the tests you order are completely anonymous. No one can tell from the packaging that it's a sexually transmitted infection test.

When Religion Becomes a Barrier

It may not be common, but religion can indeed become a barrier. In certain cultures and communities, discussing sexual relations before marriage can be difficult. Due to this, a partner may have a strong resistance to even talking about sexually transmitted infections and the need for testing.

In this case, it's important to address the issue delicately. Perhaps there is someone who can help indirectly discuss the matter with your partner, someone your partner feels comfortable with.

The Impact on Your Relationship

Last but not least, having a conversation about possible infection can negatively affect your relationship. This is especially true if it leads to suspicions of infidelity. If you fear that asking your partner to get tested for a sexually transmitted infection might end your relationship, it may be worth discussing this with a therapist.


By preparing yourself in the right way and understanding the importance of being able to talk about this for a strong and healthy relationship, you have a lot to gain. Open communication and respect are the cornerstones of a good relationship, so take this challenge as an opportunity to build on these important factors for the future.